For all those wanting to move back to Kenya and work....

I found the following on a Kenyan Jobs blog site. Very interesting and shockingly true. I know a couple of people who've come back and found it immensely difficult to adjust to a country that is heavy on certification.

http://kenyanjobs.blogspot.com/2009/09/job-search-experience-from-usa-with.html?showComment=1266799837386

Job Search Experience: From USA with Great Expectations of the Kenyan Job Market

So I decided to return to Kenya after ten years abroad. I figured that with over 8 years of experience working in the United States of America, it should be a breeze finding a job here in Kenya.

So every day I went to the cybercafé and sent out email after email with my resume attached. Funny enough after two weeks of sending out emails, there were absolutely no responses to my enquiries or even my submissions to advertised jobs. I thought that was very strange.

I have a Bachelor of Commerce degree and a Master of Business Administration degree. I am also very interested in software so most of the jobs I have held have required both Information System skills and business acumen. In every company I worked for in the USA, I got rave reviews and that’s saying something.

The last company I worked for in the USA tried hard to make me stay but I really had my heart set on returning home. I have experience managing large budget IT and process improvement projects all of which were completed on time and under budget. The projects all achieved their objectives. I really should have been flooded with email and phone requests for interviews! But not one company responded. It was time for a strategy change.

First I registered with the recruiting firms that I knew about. The first recruiting firm called me up because they thought I was a good match for a project management position they had. After looking through the job description, I thought, “Bingo, I found my job!’ The interview did not quite go as I expected.

As much as a tried to steer the conversation towards a discussion of the projects I had successfully managed, it somehow shifted towards a discussion of how well I knew a particular ERP software. I explained that my most fulfilling experience was actually managing the implementation of an ERP that I had never used before. I also explained that I am a really fast learner and enjoy a challenge. I don’t think she was convinced. I never heard from her again. No matter. I had to keep looking.

Things went much better with the next recruiting firm. They were very professional. They also had a job in mind for me but they needed to meet me first and have me pay a membership fee.

The vacancy was for a business analyst position. They wanted someone who could analyze business processes and determine if there was a software that could be written, purchased or modified to improve the process. I had done this is the USA and was very excited that this would be the job for me. They also need ed the applicant to be conversant with the Sarbanes-Oxley Act. That was my speciality in the USA! Oh, this was it.

After our meeting, the recruiting agent was happy with me and submitted my resume to the hiring company. Just like me, the people at the recruiting agency thought that I would get the job. At the company, I was interviewed by two men. The interview was held on a little round table in the office of one of the men.

This was a very strange interview.

This was how part of the interview went:

THEM: Do you like sports?
ME: Yes.

THEM: Which sports do you participate in?
ME: Well, I have recently started to play golf. I also play squash, swim and cycle.

THEM: Do you like to party?
ME: Once in a while I will but I do not do it often.

THEM: Do you like house parties or would you rather go to club?
ME: I prefer house parties that do not have really loud music because I like to have conversations where I can hear what other people are saying and I don’t have to shout to be heard.

THEM: Do you like to have people over to your house?
ME: Yes, I do. I like to invite friends over to watch movies, play cards and games like Taboo.

THEM: What would you rather do: go out to play golf or invite your friends over for a game?
ME (quite puzzled by now): Well, I guess, I would prefer to have my friends over.

THEM: How old are you?
ME: (That is an illegal question in the USA, can they ask this in Kenya? I don’t know if it is illegal in Kenya so I’ll go ahead and answer it): 29

THEM: Where do you live?

That had to be the strangest interview. They did ask a few questions about my qualifications but for the most part, I felt like I was being interviewed for a date. I was quite confident about my skill match for the position and they both seemed like really nice people. I was looking forward to working with them and asking them why they asked such strange questions at the interview. After two weeks I hadn’t heard from them or the recruiting agency. I wrote one of the men an email asking what the progress was. He wrote back saying I did not qualify.

So emailing wasn’t working, recruiting firms seemed promising but I had had no luck so the next strategy was to call up people I knew. I called up all the people I knew to let then know that I was looking for a job and need their help.

Another thing I did was to cut off my dreadlocks. Maybe they were putting off some recruiters.

The strategy of using my network of friends and acquaintances was the most successful. I got an audience with people from several of the firms that I would like to work with.

After four months of searching, I did find a job.

Email this • Share on Facebook • Technorati Links

Posted by jobsinkenya at 5:41 AM

Labels: Job Search Tips, Job Search Incidences

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, I really can relate to your experience. Came back to Kenya after 10 years in the IT Management field in Canada - and you just wrote what I am experiencing. I am in my 3rd month now and possibly just maybe close to getting a job. But what a culture shock its been!

Thanks for posting your experience.
October 6, 2009 1:49 PM
Anonymous said...

I can imagine the experience... Jobs are so hard to find...you need connections and influences to land on a good job...It's so heart breaking!!!I have had a number of interviews.. where the interviewer would ask.. what does your father do?? what does your mother do?instead of concentrating on what you can do!!!!!!it's so unfortunate that the answers you give will determine whether ul earn a good pay or not............if the father is poor be sure to earn less than 15k for a graduate!!!!and if your father is rich........why are u seeking employment then???they would remark....go and join your father in doing business......that would be a farewell for you and your papers thrown away..Hope this mentality will change one day... it has been persistent for a long time now
October 19, 2009 6:24 AM
Anonymous said...

Weird, but I'm sort of happy that I'm not the only one going through that. I had begun thinking that there's something about me that really turns the prospective employers off. I have a degree from a university in the USA and even before graduation, I actually applied to so many jobs in Kenya in the hopes of being an intern. None responded. After graduating, I worked at a local airport in Houston, but still kept applying for aviation related jobs back home, because that's where I want to be. None ever responded, yet day in day out, they keep posting new jobs on their sites. It really is sad, especially when one is dealing with big companies that try to portray themselves as being equal opportunity employers, yet that's exactly what they're not.
November 10, 2009 12:13 PM
Baraza said...

that is the way to go,know some few people here and there,papers are not everything since if we ask for papers how many people will bring them,so many.job hunting is very hard especially if the HR are asking for strange things,recently i saw a job advert of a Logistics Manager who should have Degree in Law,and another one which was still Logistics Coordinator who should have Degree in IT,so what about those specialist in Procurement and Logistics,is this not there work.
November 26, 2009 2:33 AM
nelly said...

i know the feeling, i came from japan in 2008 Dec with what i thought was an impressive CV (i can speak and write japanese for heavens sake how many in the job market can do that!!) till now i havent found a job!! and am giving up on kenya, am planning how to go back and stay there, we need to start employing people for what they can do not for who they know!! its time we stopped running our country like the free mason where you have to know one to be one! you know what the saddest part is , no one in JKIA (airport) has a mastery of language like i do (did i say i speak french too and have an economics degree from ritsumeikan, and experience working in Tokyo!!) ive given up on kenya!the world is a village nowadays anyway, whoever said i have to be tied to where i was born?
January 4, 2010 2:40 AM
Anonymous said...

nelly and the rest, please stop complaining.To get a job in kenya you must be VERY SMART and not necessarily know somebody...its simple there are so many others you dont know who are smatter than you.I have a degree in Computer science-egerton university,certifications in sun solaris,certification in SPSS-statistical analysis, a diploma in banking and i am now taking Oracle certification.I have changed 5 jobs in the past 4 years and i never apply for two jobs without being called for an interview by one and i am only 28.i at one time got two jobs and kept one appointment letter for BBK in the house in 2007.so its simple...go back to school and get more and more certifications in as many fields as possible and ensure that you are a master in all.there are others who have better papers and will always get an upper hand in job hunting in kenya!
January 7, 2010 1:25 AM
Anonymous said...

Strange that they asked you such illegal and irrelevant questions. I think your downfall was actually answering those questions. They may have been testing you to see how far you'd go. Maybe do some research on the type of interview questions kenyan companies ask. Hope you find something soon!
January 9, 2010 6:05 AM
mercy said...

My simple advise to the people coming from abroad is - Keep yourself simple.Dont try to over-impress your interviewer by the fact that you were studying abroad coz it gives them a leeway to tease you.
Next,if someone asks some obnoxious qstns such as what your mother does, kindly remind them that the Q n A is about you.It doesn't hurt to show them that you know what you went for at the interview.Remember,most of them will not ask that unless they want to put you off.So again, don't intimidate these fellows with your foreign accent, or papers.Then again, I honestly wonder if recruitment firms ever help anyone.Be careful, they will only want to spend your money.
Sorry about your experiences.
January 11, 2010 4:47 AM
Anonymous said...

Its real shame that kenya will not progress.WHY?you have to know somebody ,who know somebody to get connected to work.They should encourage people from abroad to come back more so that our country could prosper from foreign experience we have gained.I am longing to come back home but my fear is to end up as a housewife and never getting a chance to put my experience and career in use.
They should learn from South Africa,china,India Record shows 40%of south african's always go back home because of jobs availability.
BY the way do kenya travel & hospitality companies realise utalii college is not the only qualification in the country!
January 11, 2010 3:47 PM
Anonymous said...

Kenyan employers are too cheap hiring overqualified people for peanuts. The qualifications they ask for are practically unattainable i.e if you had them all you would just be basically competent in either field and an expert in none. No wonder we are a 3rd world country! In developed countries they hire you for your abilities rather than papers.
February 21, 2010 4:50 PM

Post a Comment
Newer Post Older Post Home
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Opening a Post Office Box in Nairobi

This was incredibly easy. I'm still reeling from how simple and quick the whole process was considering the institution is part of a bureaucracy. And also because I went to one of the smaller Post Offices! Forget GPO (00100) or City Square (00200). I shuddered at one of the employees suggestion of going to the Nyayo Stadium post office to try my luck as the first two are completely full and there's a waiting list the length of the ICC corruption charge sheet.

I remembered on many of my walkabouts to Biashara (Business) Street where you can find any and all kikoy fabric and touristy stuff at normal prices, that there was a new branch at the Jamia Mall which is right next to the very large and active Jamia Mosque. The Jamia Mall is what I would imagine upscale Mogadishu would offer. It's a three story building with a hotel at the top called the Jamiat Hotel. The post office is right next to it in the same building. There are no queues! At all! And the process of opening the account was painless and fast and I've now discovered a place to make my DSTV payments in addition to other utility bills.

The only problem I forsee is its location. A few weeks ago, there was a riot and most of the action took place around there so there are still some missing window panes all over the place. But other than that, a lovely spot and smack dab in the city.

Something nice about Kenya....finally.

Protests in Nairobi over deportation of Jamaican Muslim cleric with terrorist links

So the fighting is near the mosque in downtown Nairobi.

The story as reported by Capital FM

Kenya unable to deport Jamaican cleric
BY BERNARD MOMANYI

NAIROBI, Kenya, Jan 6 - Controversial Jamaican Muslim cleric Abdullah al-Faisal who was deported from the country on Monday through Tanzania has been returned to Kenya after authorities in the neighbouring country declined to receive him, police sources said.

Police and Immigration officials who had escorted him to Tanzania were unable to get him through to the neighbouring country and had been staying with him at the border until Wednesday morning when they escorted him back to Nairobi.

“He was escorted back to Nairobi and is currently at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. We are pondering the next move,” a police source said.

Police Spokesman Erick Kiraithe who had confirmed Al-Failal’s deportation earlier on Tuesday was not immediately available for comment.

He had said “Al-Faisal is no longer in the country because we have deported him to Jamaica through Tanzania.”

A group of Muslim leaders led by Al-Amin Kimathi said they had spent the better part of Wednesday at the JKIA trying to seek audience with the cleric in vain.

“The police are totally violating Al-Faisal’s rights. They have unsuccessfully tried to deport him. All the countries have declined to receive him and now they are keeping him here at the airport,” he said.

“We have information that they are planning to deport him to an unknown country tomorrow morning (Thursday). We don’t understand why they are not allowing us to see him. We went with a lawyer ready to represent him but they have declined us access,” he added.

Al –Faisal was arrested on Thursday last week, shortly after attending prayers at a mosque in Mombasa.

Police and Immigration officials said at the time they arrested him for “violating Immigration regulations.”

He had been accused of engaging in preaching, contrary to immigration procedures which did not allow him to engage in such an activity.

So they vowed to protest today Friday 15th 2010 and they have been going at it for 2 hours now. I hope no one is seriously hurt.

What is Nairobi fashion?

I think I need to make a trip back to States because clearly, I'm out off kilter with fashion trends. I would never personally admit to being an patron, much less an owner of the shoes below. This beauty sells for $28 (Kshs. 2,100) which can get you 3 pairs of mitumba shoes.



Or what about this beauty called a Gomax Thong Wrap which is also $28? I have seen Masai herding cattle outside Harlequins with much more attractive bladder beauties. Bladder is the slang version of tire tubes.



Okay, fashion is interpretive to individuals but this is hideous! Among others I discovered while browsing for shoes:



which are super stylish!



which retail at about 37 dolla each.

The problem with shoe shopping in Nairobi is that there are no quality shoes. The next time someone asks you in the diaspora or just visiting, for shoes, even from Payless, I beseech you to hear their prayer and tell them to register a wish list. Affordable shoe shopping Nairobi is limited to the choices that bulk purchasers get from Dubai and China to promote in exhibitions. Exhibitions are these tiny 6 x 4 shops that have imported, more often low quality clothing items from the above two countries. Some will also offer counterfeit items but the prices are close to the value of the real item. As I've pointed out before that Nairobi fashion tends to be more a miss than a hit and I'm beginning to think it's because of the styles in these stalls. Open toed and pointy seems to be the sole shoe style available. If you want boots, you have to buy mitumba and I will always have a problem wearing shoes that have been worn by someone else before. Or you could easily folk out the $150 minimum (Kshs. 10,000) that is advertised at many of the stores at Westgate or Junction malls, for gorgeous boots that will most likely scuff easily or be stolen by your angry maid.

I think I'm going to take a trip down South early this year and visit my beloved Nine West and load up on proper office shoes as well as some gorgeous boots for the cold weather to come.

Speaking of cold weather, apparently Kenya is experiencing El Nino again as it has been extremely cold and wet in the city for the past month. Considering our summer is from about the beginning of December to about the middle to end of March, it has been unseasonably cold for a while so it feels like it has been the cold season from June to date.

Hopefully it ends soon.

100th Post!

Happy New Year to all! I wish I had been at Il Covo in Mombasa on the beach but alas, I was at a party in the suburbs which was infinitely safer than running about the beaches. The club pictured below is mind blowingly fun. Great restaurant, great dance floor and good music too. But don't go two nights in a row because the DJ just plays the same music. Clientele is a great mix of foreigners and locals and there are not too many twilight girls. Maybe there were tons but they must have been well dressed. It's walking distance on the beach from many hotels but watch out for druggie beach boys. Go in a group or as one person in my party who elected to stay behind when we left, run like the wind to your hotel at dawn!

Tis the season to be jolly!

Christmas time in Nairobi. I gotta tell you, I miss snow with a passion. I prefer traveling upcountry for the holiday because it feels amazing to be out of Nairobi and in a clean air environment where you can relax and enjoy the holiday. And we can get away with chopping down a pine tree to decorate and put in the living room and toss loads of presents underneath and add cotton balls strategically to give the illusion of snow. I will spend roughly 36 hours of manual labor in the kitchen in creating a magnificent turkey feast that will be devoured in roughly 15 minutes. Try replicating that in Mombasa in a minimum of 90 degree heat... Nairobi is bad enough but Mombasa - too hot too feel Christmas.



Nairobi unfortunately feels the same but go to any mall and I feel like I'm bargain hunting in any mall in Ohio. The crowds are the same, the buzz is the same and the props are the same. It is funny to hear a "shrubbing" Santa. "Melly Chlistmas!" yells the skinny Santa with a pot belly near the entrance of a Nakumatt. The bargains....I'm too broke right now to even go window shopping but soon, I'll be roaming Westgate Mall to get everybody's presents. I wonder, what do you get a one year old who is in his terrible two's with the emotional angst of a teenager?

Ten Nairobi pecularities I could do without.

1. Grown men taking a wee against any immobile upright object in broad daylight, hedges more preferable. I don't know why they can't help it. They'll be walking nice and steady next minute then they start doing that sneaky shuffle toward a bush or wall and whip it out and have a go - traffic or pedestrians be banned. The entire 680 Hotel exterior reeks of urine 24/7, partly because it's opposite Simmers.

2. Matatus packed with livestock. I have a picture on here of a cow being carried in a pickup truck. Well I've seen goats on roofs of buses but my favorite was seeing a matatu with chickens as passengers. There were a lot of hens in that vehicle as it hurtled down Uhuru Highway toward some waiting slaughterhouse. They were perched on all the seats, facing any and all directions, completely oblivious to their fate - much like human passengers in any decrepit matatu that is used daily.

3. Staring. Kenyans love to stare and they will not hide their curiosity. Been hit by a bus? They'll stare at you as you lie writhing in agony. Just been mugged? They'll tsk and shake their heads while watching you wail and plead for assistance. Are you white? You'll get stared at regardless of what you're doing.

4. Deodorant is a foreign concept not embraced by all. Summer is here bringing on the heat and the BO with a fierce vengance. Just this morning, I had to open the window on the matatu to gulp mouthfuls of exhaust from the surrounding traffic because the conductor kept raising his arms and emitting a life sucking odor. I envy those nations where surgical mask wearing is so commonplace because I would have a mask over my nose for every minute I have to walk these streets. It's not uncommon to read about some boda boda operator or mechanic being forcibly dragged into a river by his colleagues and forced to take a bath with industrial strength soap followed by a shave because the stink of his body is so overpowering.

5. Check out my pedicure! Kenyan women love their toes and will have stunning pedicures to display them toes and the most lovely colors to cap the nails on said toes. Even for many who have no nail on the last toe, some color will be added to even out the landscape. Now, there is immense popularity for the fairly flimsy flip-flop high heel sandals because these display the pedicure perfectly and that perfect foot must always be seen. Indeed if you go to most shoe shops, the largest selection is dedicated to open-toe shoes for women. Nairobi gals love these shoes so much that they wear them every day and night. The higher, more uncomfortable and smaller the shoe - the better to show off that pedi. Unfortunately, they are worn in many an inappropriate setting like job interviews (big NO NO!), golf courses and most sporting events.But the daily wearers are my favorite. It could have been raining for two days straight over the weekend and when you come into town on Monday when it's drizzling, miserable, muddy and you have to navigate the flooded sewers, you'll find a little princess hopping around in her sandals trying to make it to work. Her feet will be covered in mud and dripping with filthy water but don't worry, she can always wash them in the bathroom sink at the office, right next to you as you wash your hands.

6. News at Seven. Ok, I admit I've gotten used to this one. It doesn't matter what you were watching in the pub when in this city because at 7 on the dot (6.45 if it can be helped), that channel is on KTN. I'm not sure why it's more popular over NTV but it's the chosen one. Most patrons including some passing pedestrians will slot in to find spot even if it's right next to you or over you or on you to watch the news for the day. Was quite annoying for me during my first year back and I would purposely take a book out and start reading or whip out my phone and carry on a conversation. Then I realized the third or fourth news story was quite juicy. e.g. this Tuesday (10th December), a Dutch tourist was arrested for the murder of his girlfriend and his own attempted suicide by stabbing when the cops showed up to arrest him. KTN was there first in the hospital filming the suspect lying on a gurney in pure agony and covered with a blood stained sheet. I mean the camera was right up in his face as he winced and groaned while rolling around. This had the ability of stopping anyone mid sip and start taking a keen interest in the news.

7. Handout Nation. 'nuff said.

8. "To crose this account, you need to crear the barance then we can plocess the funds you have lequested." or "Tis bassbot must pe renewed pefore we can brocess the tocuments you want." or "Ow ndo you hexpenct us to wank on thees refund so quinckly?" are just a few of the local dialects influence on the English language that I have dealt with on an official capacity. This is a city of many languages, the predominant one being Somali but they have yet to obtain jobs in the public sector. The minority locals have done very well and are working in such prestigious offices and however wonderful and professional they are, the tongue is quite heavy on the mother's side.

9. Dining out. Restaurants get creative and will offer you the Moroccan chicken burger (not sure what's North African about it), Bountiful mushrooms on a bouquet of broccoli, green island salad (basic lettuce and strips of cucumber). I actually like the places that just say "boiled beef" or "boiled goat" or "boiled chicken" with "ugali and sukuma". I wish they would keep it simple. Many restaurants (Trattoria, a four star included) have such vast expansive menus that it will take you 20 minutes to decipher the calligraphy, 15 minutes to question the waiter, 10 minutes to ascertain that half the things you would have liked are not on the menu, 10 more minutes to order, 30 minutes for the waiter to come back and tell you that your order is actually out of stock, 15 minutes of furious arguing and much snorting before you place your order, 45 minutes for the appetizer to arrive, 2 minutes for your main course to arrive, 3 minutes for your bill to arrive, 15 minutes for your first drink order to finally make it to the table.

10. Concept of Space. Remember when you were kids and you're in assembly and you're lined up crotch to ass in a queue with other kids and have to stay this way throughout "Morning Has Broken", the Pledge of Loyalty, the National Anthem, the Headmistresses dressing down and more often some kid puking in line either right in front or behind you? Yeah, that concept stuck with many Kenyan adults and will be passed on to another generation. Try paying your electric bill on the day it is due. You will suffer the masses in a queue where the old woman behind you will do everything humanly possible to get in front of the five people ahead of you if it means clinging to your back. Worse, go to the bank and try and do a transaction while hearing the guy behind you salala! when you whisper how much money you want to withdraw. Space is clearly a time waster in Nairobi so spare yourself the pain and register for Mpesa.

South Coast Beach Boys need to be put on boats and sailed into Somali waters because....

1. No I'm not interested in promoting you and your drug habit.
2. I don't have to acknowledge your existence when you're screaming "jambo jambo sista!" across the beach.
3. I got family too who have more pressing needs than you selling me a keychain on Chinese wood to promote yours.
4. I do not intend to add a four day Masai Mara trip to a two day beach holiday.
5. No, I will not look for the girl in the brown bikini and tell her that you're waiting for her.
6. None of your business in who's in my party and what are our immediate plans.
7. I will swim when I damn well want to in the ocean, not when the tide is low enough for you to drag your lazy drugged out ass.
8. Just because you couldn't get a sale from me on the beach means I'll be easier when I leave the compound to buy credit.
9. Those freaking dreadlocks - WTF? Was there a memo saying all beach boys must have them?
10. Stay on the North coast - more bait for you there.

Cannot stand beach boys, they are the roaches of the tourism industry. As soon as you squash one, 10 more appear. Fucking shits.

Enough venting from tranquil holiday location, somewhere on the south.

Life so far....

Whenever I look at the picture below, it's instant calm. I'm thinking of a great book I am reading, the ice cold Tusker by my side and how relaxed I am. The office is miles away, there's no worry in the world. If it gets too hot, that's fine, I'll just go jump in the water, frolick for a bit, come out and lie flat on my back, eyes closed soaking in the sun. Deep breath in....hold....and out!

Then I open my eyes and I'm reminded of where I am:

Just sigh.

Food stuff.

Had some lovely meals when I was on holiday last month. Below is an avocado chicken wrap.


My friend ordered the prawns tempura with broccoli. Very very nice. Was even better with the sound of crashing waves in the background. There was also a tusker next to it.

Tom Cholmondeley sentenced to eight months.

Kenya court jails Delamere kin for eight months

Tom Cholmondeley, Delamere's kin, listens as High Court Judge Muga Apondi delivers his verdict in this file picture. The Judge sentenced him to eight moths imprisonment. Photo/ PAUL WAWERU

By NATION ReporterPosted Thursday, May 14 2009 at 11:56
In Summary

Director of Public Prosecution Keriako Tobiko acknowledges Mr Cholmondeley was a first offender.

Judge Apondi had initially reduced Cholmondeley’s murder charge and convicted him for manslaughter.


Lord Delamere's heir Tom Cholmondeley has been sentenced to eight months imprisonment for killing stonemason Robert Njoya.

High Court Judge Muga Apondi handed down the light sentence on Thursday, two days after hearing final submissions from both the prosecution and defence.

"In view of the total circumstances of the case and the guiding principles to sentencing, I hereby wish to impose a light sentence on the accused to allow him reflect on his life and change to an appropriate direction," said Judge Apondi.

"The upshot is that I hereby sentence the accused to 8 months imprisonment."

The judge said the fact that Mr Cholmondeley has " been held in custody for slightly over three years since he was arrested" and had no malice aforethought (intent to kill) prompted him to issue the light sentence.

He said that the prosecution had acknowledged that Mr Cholmondeley made desperate attempts to save the life of Mr Njoya, including calling Kenya Wildlife Service rangers and the police after the fatal shooting. He also offered his car to rush the victim to hospital.

The Director of Public Prosecution Keriako Tobiko also agreed that Mr Cholmondeley was a first offender.

These two mitigating factors were crucial in determining Cholmondeley's prison term, said Judge Apondi.

The judge said Mr Cholmondeley reserves the right to appeal the sentence.

Judge Apondi had initially reduced Cholmondeley’s murder charge and convicted him for manslaughter.

He found that Cholmondeley shot and killed Mr Njoya three years ago, but spared him death by hanging because a murder charge could not be sustained.

A murder conviction carries a mandatory death sentence.

Mr Justice Apondi relied on the evidence of Mr Carl Tundo, who was with Cholmondeley on the fateful day, to rule that the accused shot and killed Mr Njoya.

He found that the accused did not have malice aforethought (intention to kill) when he shot Mr Njoya at his Soysambu ranch on May 10, 2006.


My thoughts?

I'm so glad the man is going to be released. He served his time for protecting his land and continued conservation of protected species. The victim's family appear to have been compensated for their loss. Also, I still have no doubt that the efforts this man will put toward prison program reform in the future will make a larger impact than any other elected bugger in office has ever attempted.

Why must I share air with imbeciles?

Giraffes at Haller Park in Bamburi. You stand on a platform at their height. Awesome creatures. Would so much rather work with animals than people. Sorry, having an "I work with Idiots Day".

Free Tom Cholmondeley!

If some bastard Kenyan was on my land trying to steal my animals, I'd shoot the idiot bugger dead. Oh yes, I'd even do it twice and I've no qualms about a shot to the back. YOU WERE STEALING ON MY LAND!

Are they effin kidding me? Lane Garrison killed a kid, drunk and higher than the sky at the time and he served 18 months in prison. Oh yeah, he was given time off for good behavior.

The same Kenyans who are baying for his neck seem to have forgotten that while this man has been in prison, he's made considerable efforts toward prison reform. Remember when the prison warders went out strike because of bad conditions? His family brought in medicine and food for other prisoners. He has had articles featured in the paper addressing the rampant sodomizing rapes that male prisoners face in maximum security and what needs to be done. When there are food shortages, his family's farm has stepped in with supplies.

No, I've never met the man or his family but I will sign whatever petition is out there or help in any way possible. I hope his sentence is reduced and he's out by the end of the year. And let the next guy who's trying to poach on Soysambu that he'll get dead quick.

Kenyaness in photos....

On the way to the airport, came across this on a highway roundabout:

At Delamare farms in Naivasha, they have a picnic area. I wonder if this is the roast chicken they had on offer?

A typical ferry at Likoni. They crowd the thing and then cry when it stalls in the middle or starts to drift.

Motorcycle shopping in Kisii town. This place is full of them. I wonder how they get them up or down. No elevators.

Chef's special at a certain town near Kisumu City.

Placing your order at the Hood. Awesome nyama choma joint. Favorite choice, dry fry.

On a recent train trip, was told very politely. "I'm sorry, we only have the vegetarian option. Gentle stir fried rice with a pomme and tomato simmered sauce." Potato stew in yellow rice. Was surprisingly delicious!

A certain someone's awesome birthday cake.

Had an incredibly lovely evening. Thanks girl!

Safari Seven Fashion victims.

Tusker Safari Sevens 2008. Wet on Saturday though but brilliant rugby.

Ok, Safari Sevens is starting in June but they haven't posted the dates anywhere! Can someone please tell me when? I need to budget for this stuff now! My favorite thing to do was Fashion Police and wow, there were some serious "Don't" fashion victims out there. Keep in mind that it is bloody cold, temperature is in the single digits (celsius, not farenheit, which is still bloody cold).

I loved the shoe and dress choices also.

And the ground was soggy ass wet the whole day. But she was determined that her perfect manicure and those mitumba shoes had to be on display, come rain or high water. Ok, i'm being mean but it's fun watching the under 18s come out and try to be over 21 in 7 degree weather.

The following sunday, I opted to watch from the corporate tents. Much more relaxed and awesome way to end the tournament. It's more fun to watch from rugby with the watu's on Saturday as they are more rowdy and raunchy with the abuse. Sunday has turned into a family day of sorts. Loads of errant husbands showed up with toddlers in tow while mum was nowhere to be seen. Most likely paying for the sins of the previous night. Plus, you're much closer to the players and they always end up at the Virgin tent which was a very happening place.

Looking forward to this years. Go Kenya!

HEINEKEN SPONSORED RUGBY, HELL NO, I WON’T GO!

So there was a rugby tournament this weekend, the semi-finals between Rhino (Kenya) and Ruwenzori (Uganda). It was being sponsored by Lafarge Bamburi Kenya. The game was extremely enjoyable, made even more worthwhile because of the heckling and roasting that was going on around us. Oh I laughed so hard and followed an extremely exciting game. However Heineken, the sponsor, ruined everything for me. I’m used to having my usual Tusker “baridi” whenever I’m watching rugby, especially at Sevens. I didn’t take much notice of the confiscated bags hanging outside the entrance that were full of Tusker cans. When we got in, we ignored the Heineken tents set up at the entrance and went into the clubhouse which was undergoing renovation. They were installing the furniture and it looks like F1 (Madhouse, not Formula One). The only difference being there’s light coming through. Unfortunately due to the construction work going on, the bar was closed. So back to the Heineken tent where, crossed fingers, we might find cold Heineken bottles. But no, we were handed tap-cold cans that warmed instantly in the afternoon tropical sun. Basically, the beer is shite. And Heineken in Kenya in a can tastes worse than Milwaukee’s Best Light that’s been left in somebody’s trunk for three days and found when unloading a spare. (Yes, I have this experience).

I went back to the tent periodically to make sure that there was nothing else on offer in terms of beer. They had tons of hard alcohol which I wasn’t going to touch in that heat. And I honestly just wanted my cold tusker. So each time I paid the exorbitant price of $1.60 for a 330ml tin of boiling piss, I told the guy selling, “Honestly, don’t come back here again with this shit….ever!”

I left rugby for the first time in my life immediately after the final whistle (Rhinos won). The finals are this weekend but you have to pay me to go there. I’d rather go to my local and watch it on telly while having my tusker.

Reunited.

My birthday treat from two really good friends, F and W who took me out first thing in the morning. Had a great birthday, would have been fab with the twin. But she did come back and I did a holiday with her and it was awesome! Hopefully she'll be in town next week and we can do a holiday again. Oh that would rock! More later, having fun with the pics.

Why DSTV sucks.

DSTV is the main satellite telly service provider (done by Multichoice) in Kenya, in fact Africa as a whole. They have different packages for different budgets. I started out with the Premium Bouquet which has just about 6 movie channels, a lot of filler channels (Hallmark, E, Style, Food Network, BBC sideshow programming), an incredibly extensive sports coverage network, documentary channels like National Geographic and Discovery and the major news networks such as BBC, CNN and Al Jazeera. They also offer roughly 30 more foreign language channels which are extra ofcourse. All this for Kshs. 5,000.00 ($ 71.50) per month. Then for the budget conscious, there as a more affordable bouqet which only has one movie channel, some of the fillers, two documentary channels, three news channels and that's roughly Kshs. 1,700.00 ($24.30). Then there are some super family friendly channels which are not worth mentioning as they are religous and kids show oriented. Much cheaper obviously. Remember, most Kenyans live on $1 a day so this is obviously not a service targeted at the ordinary person.

Now Multichoice Kenya once had a focus group put together at the Norfolk over lunch, and they chose a selective few subscribers to give input on their services. I know for a fact that they invited (and probably rightfully so) the subscribers only and not viewers in their homes. They didn't realize that the subscriber probably works 15 hour days and doesn't have time to watch tv except for the news here and there. The true viewers are actually the maid and the kids on holiday (or those skipping school) who would have been better equipped to advice them on their programming.

I recently switched from the Premium to Compact for financial reasons. I can no longer justify spending that much money on such poor programming offers and here are a few examples why.

1. They repeat everything. And I mean everything for a two month cycle, it seems. I don't bother watching the Series Channel on Friday evening because all that will come on Saturday morning and Saturday evening will be re-run to death on Sunday. Same for the Food Network channels. I actually don't mind this as much but to watch but there are 10 episodes of New Scandanavia Cooking that came on for three months and I'm grateful on the knowlege I've gained concerning flash fried Norwegian Salmon. Same goes for ALL the documentary channels. In fact, the only guaranteed new content you'll see is on the news networks.

2. Movie choices are refreshed on Saturday and Sunday nights. The blockbuster movies are on while you're at work, slaving away to pay the bill and on the weekends and evening, they rerun Saturday and Sunday night choices with mainly family friendly numbers. They are also a year behind on new releases that have been on dvd for that period. Besides, if you prefer surfing the channel, cheaper to rent the dvd's where you'll be forced to focus instead of switching.



3. PVR - Their Tivo: Bloody expensive and pointless. All the shows will be re-run for a month anyway.

4. They had a monopoly on sports for a while but subsequently lost 80% of the Barclays Premier League to rival GTV, so forget football season. The one thing they do have that I'm grateful for is Formula One and rugby. You can get UEFA games on the local channels so no need to go for the premium sports package.

5. DSTV is different from DSTV Africa. The latter appears to be limited in choice. There's a channel called Sony Entertainment that they frequently advertise on most channels but that is not available outside of SA and it has most of the shows I'd love to watch like Amazing Race but it's not part of the Kenya programming. e.g. SA gets Supersport 3 (main football channel) and Supersport 4, Kenya gets the updates channel and a select sports channel which shows mainly SA soccer league. (YAWN) Oh yeah VH1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cheap bastards.

Above all I believe that SA pays the same as Kenyans for more channels while we're stuck with what they chose to show us. I've been accepting nothing less for sometime now have gone back to buying my pirated movies and the sports bars are happy to welcome me back as a paying customer to watch soccer on GTV.

P.S. I'm still a DSTV subscriber on a compact level. Only because of National Geographic, ESPN, CNN & Series channel. Picture up top was taken at Haller Park, Bamburi in Mombasa. Gorgeous ponds all over the place.

KPLC: Kenya Pricks & Lunatic Cons

I mean WTF! I got my electricity bill yesterday and my legs gave out under me. My bill has gone up by 150%. I contemplated prostitution that evening because there's no way I can afford this shit. I have a friend who's gone to contest his 1,000% bill increase at the power company and the line for complaints stretches outside while the cashiers sit idle. Kenyans by nature are incredibly patient and will put up with a lot until pushed. e.g., the election riots. But I'm ready for someone to start a fracas at their offices and I'll be right there cheering you on. You can't really yell at this people when you go complain because government workers being as petty and vicious as they are, will probably disconnect you. So I'm ready to don a bandana, and go kick up a fuss if everyone else does.

All of Kenya is going through economic hardships like nothing they've experienced before and it's getting worse. Before, I could go to the grocery store with $15 (Kshs. 1,000) and come out with loads of stuff. Now, I come out of the store with a handbag sized bag. Vegetables are bloody expensive, meat has gone up and the stock market is plunging daily. Urghh, I forgot, I bought shares a month ago!

The picture above is from my holiday at Voyager - looking at it calms me down.