Sunday, February 27, 2005

No matter how bad your day is, someone else's sucks more.

So the paper today ran an article with the title, "sanitary napkin shortage in Zimbabwe" Apparently the government has over-taxed sanitary napkins and tampons and thereby disuaded imports of the products and NGO's and aid-groups are having to turn down donations of these items as they can't afford the tax. Women have had to resort to using, "old rags, newspapers and any absorbing materials" they can find. Use your imagination to imagine my response to reading that. Uneffinbelievable.

The other day as I was hurtling down Uhuru Highway (main road) in a matatu, I looked at the filthy stream that is the Nairobi River and observed some homeless folks sitting around eating, chatting, washing clothes etc. One woman had completely stripped down and was sitting on a rock in the river washing herself right next to this six lane highway. And this was right around the time of rush hour traffic so Joe Anybody could look out their window and see how poverty has robbed this woman of any shred of dignity or shame. And her kids were splashing about next to her, oblivious to how shitty this world is and just being kids.

So sad but what to do? There are quite a number of street kids, you'll usually tell them by their filthy appearance, scruffy looks and the permanent bottles of glue attached to their noses. Sniffing glue is how these kids temporarily forget where they are and how futile their situation is. They walk around stoned, palms out begging for money so they can get their next fix. On Friday I was downtown at about 6 in the evening waiting for my brother and this little boy walks up to me, glue bottle to his nose saying, "saidia mama", "help me lady" and I kid you not, this boy barely made it made it to my waist. He was soooo tiny, I'd guess his age to be about 4 or 5. He tripped as he neared me and change fell out of his pocket which he picked up and walked past me, sniffing away.

There is such a large refugee population in Kenya which is sort of an intake center from the Congo, Rwanda, Somalia and more recently Darfur conflicts. The Somalis and Ethiopians (for some reason the former have emigrated here in large numbers) live in typical urban ghetto areas that are now nicknamed Mogadishu and Addis (for both nation's capitals). They are everywhere, and I mean everywhere. More and more come in every day, especially now from Congo and from northern Kenya where most have escaped Darfur. And they're quite resourceful, setting up business and different enterprises. The only drawback, they only hire their own it seems. I think our immigration system is something of a joke so their are more bad apples slipping in and mingling with these communities and terrorists are being harbored.

Actually, I'm going to read up on immigration in Kenya because to me it appears to be chaotic and so outdated. E.g., A foreigner who marries a Kenyan woman cannot assume citizenship, she has to assume his. A foreign woman who marries a Kenyan man is immediately considered a Kenyan.

Anyway, getting late, have to go, huge soccer game to watch. Oh yeah, lol, soccer seems to be the one uniting factor in what this crazy world appears to be. Actually rugby has a huge following here but people are crazy about football. My brother was telling me of days past whenever there were Arsenal or Man Utd. games and hundreds of Somali kids would pack the bars, literally sitting on top of each other to watch a game and not one would order a drink. Lol, management got pissed off and instituted cover charges and two drink minimums during the games and the kids disappeared to find a pub that hadn't caught on.

I hope you folks are enjoying the blogs, they're very therapeutic for me. You'll probably get a nasty one tomorrow, time to tackle opening the bank account! Urghhh....

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

#@%$#@!^

Ok, last entry worried y'all, sorry about that so I have to explain. Frustrating day that's all, personal and physical disappointments, that's all. I shan't elaborate too much but needless to say being so detached from most of what is familiar in my adult life to this point is a challenge in and of itself.

Efficiency is very much a foreign word here. You know how you wait at the DMV for your license for over an hour and by the time they call your name you are so close to going postal? Well multiply that and you get my own bureaucratic hell. The following is what I have to do to establish residency here (getting turned off about that by the second)

1. I need a national ID card. This is mandatory for all Kenyans. If you're in any sort of incident involving the police or requiring their assistance and you don't have this card, 5 months imprisonment. To get the card, I have to get a copy of my dad's card, my passport, birth-certificate and an affidavit from a lawyer stating the reason as to why I didn't obtain one when I turned 18. (haven't lived here since I was 17).

2. I need to open a bank account, specifically for dividend cheques from shares I own. For that I need, my passport, national ID, birth-certificate and a letter of introduction from a current member of that bank in good standing who can vouch for me.

3. I need a Personal Identification Number (basically SS#) and for that I need the ID card, letter from an employer, pay stub and whatever else requirement which I will be informed about the first time I try and get the number.

4. I need to buy health insurance. Kenya operates on a national health insurance which means basically you'll die because the general hospitals are disasters. It doesn't help that because of the corruption scandal, more donors are pulling funds as they can't account to how and where they are being utilized, hence the facilities are going to hell. My insurance doesn't kick in for at least 3 months to dismiss any pre-exisisting condition I may have not disclosed.

NOW for the kicker. My national ID card will be sent to me in three weeks through our oh so wonderfully efficient postal service. My bank account will not be activated for three weeks as well, the only blessing is that they will let you substitute your ID card with your passport. (oh yeah, direct deposit? what is that?) My PIN will have to be filed in a city called Kisumu, about 400 miles away from here as the Nairobi office is notoriously slow while the former office will only take a month.

Today was a downer then upper and then back to downer day. I do have two fantastic soccer games to look forward to tonight so all is not bleak but damn! I'm really mad at myself basically for leaving. The expectations I had for coming here, those that were presented to me before I came are far from being realized and while everyone is used to the slow pace of things and plod along like sheep in a herd based on what is dictated, I'm getting more and more frustrated. Also, a festering issue is my loss of independence as a woman. I've always been pretty stubborn and a hard-head and it saddens me to realize I sensed something incredibly strong about myself at an early age and I didn't know what it was until I came back here...... I had the thought for a minute but I lost it because the effin' power flickered. Sigh, I sense another black out.

More later, I know this sounds sad but I'm okay, promise. CTK needs to stop worrying. Seriously, I'm fine, just a seriously funky day and she knows why. It's always going to get worse before it gets better. Cheers kiddos!

Hippos, poaching, game conservation.

Yesterday morning, a hippo was crossing the main highway on the outskirts of town when it was hit by a matatu coming from the north and it bounced onto a car coming from the south. No one was injured or killed except for the hippo. Shortly thereafter, before the police arrived, membes of the public came on the scene with pangas (machetes) and knives so that they could carve up the hippo for dinner that evening. There was much jostling, shoving and arguing and two men were stabbed in the melee involving more than 100 people when the Kenya Wildlife Society (KWS) and the police finally showed up and tried to haul away the carcass. Well they failed miserably as the hippo weighed 1600+ pounds and they didn't have the equipment to cart it away so they told the wanainchi (crowd; literally meaning people of the country) to line up and then they carved it up themselves and distributed to the people hanging around. They took away the Kiboko (hippo) meat and said that it was probably the sweetest meat you've ever tasted.

I was gagging at this point because they showed all of this on the 7 and 9 p.m. evening broadcasts! It was awful! I mean here this country is trying to prevent poaching and encouraging the protection of wildlife and not exploiting game for dining tables and then they go ahead and divvy up a dead hippo to the locals who will know see that it may be okay to kill animals for food because the KWS supports it since they carved up the hippo. WTF! Mind you, the hippo's partner was at a dam a mile away, probably wondering what happened to her mate. Urghhh, today is an "I hate this country!" day. Ughh, more later.

3/4/05

There was an article about the growing popularity of game meat. It has become a delicacy for a lot of restaurants and sometimes the meat is ill-gained. Most of the restaurants have suppliers who have farms that breed game meat specifically for them like Ostrich, Impala etc. But more and more local butcheries are getting meat from illegal traps in game reserves and poaching not for skins but for meat itself. The main reason is that beef prices are going through the roof because there's a drought. (The other day I was surprised to see chicken going for a much lower rate than beef.) And game meat apparently has a better flavor and is much cheaper. This will be a problem in the future.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Shhhhooooorrry Occifer! (hic)

Alright, quite a number of my "acquaintances" i.e. demoted from "friends" are making their way rapidly up my shit list, I would name names but I'm too nice (stop laughing E.B) a person to do that.

Ok day, sunny yet again, I'm looking out on some crazy construction coming up. Nairobi is spreading out and at an incredible pace. Apartments coming up everywhere and more and more amenities previously found in upper class neighborhoods are making their way down the social ladder. My apartment is beginning to look like a hovel compared to some of the surrounding places. The one downside to all this is that at about 6.30 every morning, hundreds of workers come streaming through the main gate, passed my window (third floor), chattering away followed by trucks full of building materials. However tempted to scream a "shut the eff up!" I will assume it may have worse consequences here so I smile at the day, rise and fix myself a vodka tonic, light up a pack of camels....just kidding!

Speaking of which....there are a couple of fairly lethal home brewed cocktails that can render you blind or dead, depending on the formaldehyde levels. I'm not kidding on this one, very sad actually. I have a cousin who went to the coast on holiday with friends, partied like tourists. Problem is they ordered top-shelf liqors and the bartender was serving something bottom-shelf inorder to save stock and the poor kids woke up sometime the next afternoon (intact) but with the worst hangovers and severely cloudy/blurry vision which cleared up some days later.

Chang'aa is the local brew that is served in several illegalbars/ whorehouses/ slum areas. It's the poor man's drink because it is made with cheap every day ingredients and gives a quicker buzz hence the 70 shillings you might spend on one beer could you get you "how's your father" lit three times over. The key ingredient is formaldehyde. Every day the papers carry stories of people falling sick, going blind and even dropping dead within minutes of consuming this brew. Really is quite awful stuff. So back to Vodka. Me sister pointed out an article she found online that said "vodka is just chang'aa with a PhD." I couldn't agree more, especially down here. I'm so used to getting the stuff with a mountain of ice-cubes such that you get halfway, you're drinking water with a hint of potato. Well, since there's no ICE here (and even if there was, chances are the original liquid form is courtesy of the Nairobi City Council) I had to drink mine with a bottle of tonic that I insisted sit in the freezer for at least 15 minutes prior to serving. I was conned by the condensation because the tonic stayed cold until it left the bottle and met my vodka. I only had 3 of these little bombs and needless to say, the next day I thought I was surely going to die. My head, the heat, no ice, no Whopper Jrs' or McDonald's fries or a porcelain god that didn't make you cringe every time you approached it.

I survived obviously but wow, I miss snow, biting wind and orange popsicles. My spelling is atrocious by the way and chiefly because if I run spell check on this old biddy, everything freezes, shuts down and then it makes a sound like a camel farting (not pleasant I assure you.)
You have not known success until you've finally figured out how to flush a Kenyan toilet. - CSK

Saturday, February 19, 2005

I have to copy this ad that I found in one of today's dailies. I choked on my breakfast tea when I read it. I've made up his e-mail address as that's what it really should have been.

"I am 40, good-looking and married but my wife is a workaholic and travels alot. I wish to hook up with a lonely, neglected married lady for friendship, companionship and romance. She should be bequtiful and medically fit. Age and tribe not an issue. Single ladies and especially barren ones should also get in touch." imasleze@xxx.co.uk"

LOL! Believe me, his was one of the milder ads. I should start an entirely different blog dedicated to the worst singles ads ever. Hey, that's an idea. Anyway, this country is still nutters for Valentine's day. They're still talking about it, dissecting it yada yada yada blah blah blah....enough! The obsession is quite frankly borderline psychotic at this point.

Sorry this is short but I just had to copy that ad. Very hot, bright sunny day here. Temps in mid 80's. Jealous, yes I know but I'll willingly trade places for a cold beer (haven't found a place here that has perfected this art yet) and wireless service.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

On romance/love/sex in Kenya....(I'm listening to U2's, A Man and a Woman; GREATEST BAND EVER & I'm not a poser!)

So I'm bogged down by yet another slow internet connection so I decided to add an entry via a very useful program called Notepad. i.e. type, cut and paste later when the connection comes up so this one will be a little longer.

I was the lucky lass who had her first bout of stomach issues and I'm not sure why. I think foreigners, tourists and moi get sick abroad because our standards of hygiene tend to lapse once we feel comfortable with the environment. I washed my hands three times after I got home from town and the water just ran black....ha ha, not my skin color. My hands were absolutely filthy. Anyway, had lunch, bad tummy, found myself at the local pharmacy. While I was waiting, realized there was an internet cafe around the corner so I went in and waited for one of the 5/10 miserable units that were functioning but occupied at the time by a college student, two businessmen and two young Kenyan ladies on dating websites. The computers faced us, me being the audibly impatient one couldn't believe it. They (girls) had no less than three browser windows up, no fewer than five chat rooms going and a couple of video screens up. The girls didn't discriminate but the obese, old fat white guy on one was eliciting more giggles from the two who weren't aware of the growing crowd behind them. I realized they were serious about finding mates online as they had been there for quite a bit and at 2 shillings a minute to browse, one was up to 300/-.

One of the girls signed off and left shortly after and the other one went on, chatting with as many people as browser windows she could pop up after she hit send. My turn finally came and I was seated next to the desperate girl. While I signed on, I heard a gurgle and a baby cry. I looked around to see if there was an infant around me then glanced at her and realized she had the child and was breast-feeding while typing furiously with one hand, a look of furious determination as she multitasked. I didn't know quite what to think after that and just went ahead with my e-mail. Have I mentioned how much I MISS wireless and laptops? I'm going to give in, save and get my own no matter how expensive. I'm tired of choking on horrible B.O and my biggest pet peeve, loud gum chewers! GROSSest thing ever.

Anyway, back to love and sex in Kenya. I knew when I moved here that dating wouldn't be on my agenda and just two weeks (seems so much effing longer) have strengthened that resolve. I love my brothers, their friends and my male friends but what dogs. I'm sure there are some faithful men out there but I have yet to meet one. Even my cousin C, who I hadn't seen since '97 and claims he has a girlfriend had a super-roving eye for the ladies last weekend when we went out and even abandoned me! to go chat with a couple of lasses. The guys are great, funny, interesting, intelligent and good looking but fidelity is a loose term, especially in a country where polygamy and common law marriages are the norm. The women are either super possesive or secure in the wealth, status of their lives that they'll turn a blind eye to their husband's extracurricular activities. A good friend of mine, well off, great businessman is married with kids. His wife, ehh-looking, great hostess,bitch potential. Anyway, his honey on the side, a super-model, stunning, gracious and also a friend of mine....she's not allowed to date anyone. He has sole ownership and wants to keep it that way. This is just typical of half the shit that goes on with relationships around here. You'd be amazed how quickly people fall in love here. The first time people meet can be considered a date, which means I've dated....I'm a slut basically. Kidding. No one's caught my fancy just yet, no sparks flying, except from my water heater switch.

Oh, if you thought Valentine's day was on commercial steroids in the US, come to Kenya. It's crazy. One gas station chain had ads saying, "if you are a lady, wear red on valentine's day, come and fill your car up and get a rose and a bottle of wine. If you come in driving a red car in addition to the above, you get a dozen roses and a gas card for X amount of money." This also applied to female passengers. The media were worse: going to local primary/elementary schools and asking kids on the playground what they were going to do for Valentine's day. One pimply 10 yr old, "I'm going to spend it with my chick." Lol, I mean what else can I say.

Another observance, Valentine's night. I live apartment block and my balcony faces the main driveway for most of the other buildings. There is an absolutely gorgeous Somali girl who lives on the first floor of the apartments across from me. She has a four year old son is sooooooo cute, even my barely there maternal instincts surge when I see this child. Anyway, she was pacing back and forth, looking at the main gate for a while then she whips out her cell phone, calls someone and I hear her asking Mr.X when he'll be done at work so they could go out (time: 9 p.m, Valentine's night...hmmmm....). I've seen the guy before, european diplomat/businessman/scumbag. Anyway, she, placated with his reply goes into her apartment. An hour later, on the phone looking at the gate, calling him and alas, no answer. She looks around, sad, calls her friend and starts bitching him out and at some point questions whether it's because she has a child. The woman at the cafe, the beautiful woman across the street trying to date with kids. Not easy here. That's why the married women turn a blind eye to hubby's extracurricular activity. As long as they have the ring, house etc. he can fuck whatever he wants, discreetly though ofcourse. They have a status to maintain. GAG!

Diseases? Anyone? Sometimes I feel I'm on an entirely different planet and it is kinda scary.
More later, going to find connection somewhere. Wish me luck. Lol, if you're reading this I succeded so thanks. Lol

Found a connection!!!!! Yay!!!! But I have to go because it looks like it's going to rain and downtown is not the place to be.

In case y'all haven't noticed, I'm a Comma Queen. I know certain people have issues with that e.g., all my English profs but I'm no longer under their dictatorship.....plus I'm a foreigner.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Had to change the title.....

....because to many people were taking second looks at title "crazy kenyan" at the cyber cafes. I'll probably change it again. Very sunny warm day, watching football, God's idea of heaven on earth and for that I'm grateful. Partied like a tourist last night....not hurting any more but I had five heads this morning, all throbbing and complaining.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Groceries

There are two main chains, Uchumi & Nakumatt that sell an amazing variety of goods that would rival Buehler's. But the one thing that got me were the prices! I know now why I didn't eat veggies in the U.S. Can't afford them. I mean when red, yellow or orange bell peppers go for the highway robbery price of $3.99/lb, might as well grow your own puny ones in your backyard once a year and freeze them. Here, the prices are amazing. I kept loading my shopping cart with groceries like my life depended on it. Check out some of my steals. I've over-estimated some prices by a couple of cents doing the converstion from kilos to pounds.

1 lb red onions $0.40
1 lb mangoes $0.50
2 lbs peppers (red, yellow, green and orange) $ 0.60
2 bunches of fresh spinach $0.30
1 lb garlic $0.25
1 lb green beans $0.25

The fruits are always at a bargain because they come in year round. You should see the variety, lip-smacking delicious. I don't have to buy some veggies like potatoes; those come from our farm about 300 miles from here. Someone usually has to be up there about every two weeks so they load up on stuff and just bring it down to Nairobi and distribute among the relatives.

I went around looking for my fave stuff and I found most of it but the prices roughly translate into what I'd expect them to be though they're robbing me blind when it comes to my Hellman's mayo. There's a huge variety though and the locals have been coming up with their own stuff to match the huge brand names and some instances, their prodcuts taste better, like the local jams. Very fresh tasting. The coffee, tea....better than the shit they export.

It's been a very interesting culinary adventure. The one thing I've found is Kenyan fries are 100% better than anything I've had incl. McDonald's fries on hangover day. The secret is they are absolutely soaked with grease and served super hot. You have to try them with the local ketchup (as opposed to Heinz....not sure what the locals add to theirs...don't really wanna know but there's a chemistry going on that just works).

You must be wondering how effing enormous I must be at this point. Quite the opposite, I've lost more weight. You walk everywhere and are constantly in motion. And also the death rides that are matatus, make you keep your muscles clenched just about everywhere so when you get out of them, you finally relax and realize how sore you will be later on. Also, been eating more veggies because I can afford them!!!! And Olive Oil is alive and present here so everything, gets sauteed, fried, basted, drizzled, marinated in that delicious oil.

I can't wait for Mombasa though, I will surely get fat there....all that pure white sand, madafu (coconut juice) cocktails, ocean lapping at my feet.....the only exercise I'll be getting there is lifting a finger to gesture where the cabana boy should put more sunblock. (clean thoughts people, this is a family blog!)

Laters.

Corruption etc.

Hey all! Me again. Much better day even though I'm in a PMS rage. What the hey, that's the purpose of blogs...to vent! This may be a quick and disjointed blog but the cafe I'm using keeps losing power! Welcome to Kenya. Anyway, if any of you want to check the headlines in Africa, try and follow this huge anti-graft/corruption thing going on here. The head honcho resigned whilst in London follwing the Davos conference saying he'd had no backing from the current president as far as fighting corruption in Kenya. This was mainly in response to the British High Commisioner calling the president out and claiming his office has been involved in doing basically nothing about it. A subsequent fall out was that the US withdrew about $50 million in funding and promised to withdraw more and other governments began to follow suit....all this in the span of one week!!

Anyway, the Kenyan ministers (sort of senators for the uneducated idjits!) went berserk, accused the Brits of drinking too much at the function where he made the announcement. One fucking idiot minister in response to US withdrawal said, "...what the US is doing to Kenya is like raping a woman who is already too weak." and proceded to chuckle at his incredibly smart comment. Stupid fat self-serving men/bastards is what politicians are.

I'm going to win the lottery, buy my island and my word will be law. i.e., eat, drink and be super merry, clothing optional (you will have to pass a "visibility" test as in the more gorgeous, the less clothing allowed"), cabana boys and girls, wireless service, Boston terriers being the only allowed pets, a research station somewhere so that prof's can get grants and sabbaticals, a landing strip for Air Force Chem to take people to oh, say Ibiza, Europe and pretty much anywhere they want, anytime....etc, etc. Whatcha think?

I had a good day today, met a headhunter, very nice man who knows my personality so he's pounding his networks for me. Interestingly enough, while I was waiting for my interview, I was reading the paper and there was an ad. for a sales position with one of the major cell phone companies here and the requirements were a British or American accent!!! I'm going to apply for it as it can also be a part-time job. How fucking hilarious! Look where outsourcing has come! Well, I need some pocket change which is what I bet this people earn so I'll go for it while hunting for my real job.....full-time lounging-by-the-beach deck-chair potato.

More later, thanks for the comments Drew. Hope you're all enjoying the snow, I'm showering twice a day, sweating off pounds!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Being gay in Kenya or "...that garish behavior sick men indulge in."

Not surprisingly enough, this is a hot potato topic, particularly around straight men who don't want to know if you're gay, know someone who is or even work with one. As always, lesbians rock. One of the major networks ran a documentary late one night last week and the gay couple they interviewed were talking about how difficult it was to remain in the closet in Kenya. Phil, (not sure what his real name is) had gone to one of the major newspapers wanting to run an ad about his new website www.gaykenya.com, to provide a forum for other gays in the community. The paper ranted and raved about it being a family institution and homosexuality is against the law (it really is, since the sixties) So the poor man had to get his site registered in the US and cannot advertise it anywhere in Kenya.

I went to yet another dinner last night and the topic came up. The men were pissed about that documentary because they sat up all night watching it and waiting for the lesbians to come on and that didn't happen. Lol, they are loveable idiots. So I've been asking some of my friends what their opinions were on homosexuality. The men were ovewhelmingly against it. My friend Patrick wouldn't even let me finish the sentence, "I have gay friends...." He just didn't want to know I had friends in that "sick lifestyle." I tried to broach the subject about homosexuality not being a choice but he cut me off and said it was not a matter to be discussed. All the men were against gay men, one member of the party even said he would not do business them and he runs quite a succesful tech. firm. He said he had met one and his introduction to an effiminate "pansy" put him off so much that he has no desire to know or work with them. They talked about it being unnatural as sex involved penetration and that was just "sick". When it comes to lesbians,it's apparently okay because there's no penetration involved (how little they know) but find me a man that opposes girl-on-girl action and I'll quit happy hour. Ok, that's a stretch but you get the gist of it.

The ignorance, I would expect from the men but the women were surprisingly just as discriminatory of the "lifestyle" if not worse. They cringed, virtually spat in disgust at the thought of gay men and not so much at lesbians. I can't wait to go down to the coast. I think there, it is an issue that is frowned upon but not met with so much animosity as it has been going on for ages. Especially with gay tourists finding an abundance of gorgeous young men (prostitutes? Hey, what are male pros called?).

I've mostly listened with a small smile as they discuss this as I'm so curious about misperceptions and understandings about not just homosexuality but other things. It has been very educational but the challenge will be to try and change people's minds about their severe lack of information. The one good thing I haven't heard is tying HIV/AIDS to homosexuality and the general knowledge is that anyone can get exposed, not just a group.

Just wait until I blog dating in Kenya and why I'm going to be celibate and single for a long time to come.

On a personal note, I'm trudging along. Have an interview this Friday with an investment firm, (yes, me the girl with no savings) and another one next week. I'm still gunning for the beach hotel. They have a nudist area....he he he.

Monday, February 07, 2005

So driving in Nairobi is all together a not so bad experience, even quite enjoyable if you choose to die swiftly but rather painfully. You really have to have some cojones or be blind drunk to navigate the streets....and that's just for pedestrians. Drivers are on something entirely different and I wanna know where I can get it.

I flew in at night so my first experiences on the main highway was relatively tame. Not much traffic, the lights weren't working but then again, who wants to be at a stop light at midnight in any African city. I wish I could say people respect your right of way when the lights don't work: you know person on the right (or is it left?) has the right of way. Here, not so much a rule, suggestion or guide line. It's a first-come first-served sort of mentality. Actually, if you can squeeze your car into a roundabout (very popular here) then you better be aggressive or you'll be circling until the maasai take their cows home. (Incredibly, the maasai do take their cows home...through some parts of the city.)

What I've noticed with the traffic lights is they are encased in these solid ugly steel cages, I guess to deter them as being used as target practice. The lights do work during rush hour in the morn. and eve. and are enforced by the brave men in blue who work at these intense roundabouts and busy intersections. After those hours, you're on your own and good luck. I would recommend renting a dinged/beat up jalopy as you will enjoy much freedom of movement among the virtual show room of Discovery, Mercedes, BMW and sad to say Explorers here and there, being paraded through the city. Trust me, no one will come near you.

Case and point: My choice of vehicle is the matatu, a minivan that is supposed to sit 12 but in the past I'd seen many of these battered, colorful (and always advertising their fave soccer team) with more backsides hanging out of windows than seats, meaning the seats were already occupied. Well, new government regulation requires they sit the maximum alloted space and everyone has to wear seatbelts. These vehicles tend to circle around pick-up locations for minutes on end trying to get passengers and will even come as far as apartment complex which isn't permitted as they make too much noise, to pick up people. I'm not complaining as I'm using them but once I'm certifiable to attempt driving here, I will be honking, cursing and screaming just as much as the next person forced to share the road with this vermin....but for now, they get me from A to B. Anyway, where you get dropped off is not the same place you get picked up to go back. You have to walk toward the seedier part of town to a huge bus terminal, formally a parking lot and garbage dump for the city and find your matatu and this is the only place I've seen them to be very organized. They line up all the matatus that are available and will put a board that states the route number and destinations (48 in my case) and once they have the required amount of passengers, they're off. Oh, damn, it's rush hour again. Did I mention AC is a foreign word? Along with deodorant....

I will sign off with the funniest thing I've seen so far. I need a digital camera very badly to show you all what I see. I was on a highway, off to yet another afternoon function and this pick-up truck passed us, loaded with furniture and on top of that two mattresses and on top of that, two gentlemen who'd agreed to have themselves lashed to the mattresses and furniture, belly down cruising along at about 80mph. They were totally lounging, smiling at us, even waved.

Oh, potholes? Yes, plenty, crater sized in fact. I know there are quite a few cars sitting under the city right now, just swallowed up. It doesn't even have to rain for sink holes to appear. Just watch the damage the huge trailers rolling through the city from S.Africa, Ethiopia or even Namibia, and you'll understand why you're driving through Grand Canyon.

More later as always.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Food

The food here is amazing. I treated myself to an absolutely delicious lunch at an Italian restaurant, Trattoria which is close to the city center. I opted for two appetizer as the pastas and other entrees looked to hot and heavy for heated Nairobi. I had a simple avocado plate with a basic lime vinaigrette....nothing to write home about. My second choice was out of this world. Smoked Sailfish on a bed of spinach and lettuce, served with black olives, capers, sliced red onion, drizzled with olive oil, lime juice and a side of freshly made tartar sauce. My stomach's growling as I write this.
I went to a bbq joint/pub called the Hood in one of the suburbs here. Mainly to watch soccer games but also to meet some friends. The place was relatively packed and was mainly people coming for the afternoon meal....at 5. Oh yeah, dinner is served super late. I'm used to geriatric serving times of between 5 - 7 but on weekends, you will generally have a dinner to attend or one that you are hosting that doesn't commence until 9 p.m. Meat is the celebrated main course here, so much so that they have slabs of it hanging in the window, much like a butchery and you pick your cuts, they grill it there and serve it interestingly enough in a french style. They wrap it up in foil, throw in onions and other spices and when it comes to your table, it's steaming hot and pour the anjou (sp?) sauce onto a plate, then on a cutting board, at your table they cut the meat up in bite size pieces and put them on the sauced plate. The meat in question? Goat....loads of it. There is some lamb if you want but the special is goat. (yuck) Tastes like it smells.
The selection of restaurants here is incredible and everyone has their favorite. On my way to the Hood, I passed a Lebanese, Thai, Japanese and a French restaurant....in Nairobi. I guess it's a sign of the times. The getting-there part is a harrowing experience and an entirely different blog. Kenyan driving is a whole new experience in death defying stunt work. Actually, I know a certain New Yorker and Canadian who would fit right in from day one.
I went to a garden dinner last night, very formal and the meal was amazing. Zanzibar fish and coconut soup, many entree choices: veggie lasagna, chicken pilau, tikka, more meat, on grills all over the garden, lamb on a Turkish spit....I looked like a starving refugee by the time I sat down with my plate. Hungry now, more later.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Culture Shock 101

It's another day in hot and sweaty Nairobi. I've been punishing myself by looking at vacation packages to different beach destinations. The water is just begging for me to come. I've ventured out on my own today as was super stifled yesterday with two brotherly chaperones. So today just been walking around and checking out the town. Still dirty, v.hot. dusty and deodorant is still a commodity that's not widely advertised. Oh, the internet connection is much better more like 1998 AOL but at a better speed.

So aside from the super fast wireless service here are other things I've observed so far. (oh yeah, don't be fooled by cyber cafes that advertise with the name wireless...effers) Ladies, you have to learn to be stingy with the T.P. as loos do not flush well at all! Also, forget about bringing your man here. Kenyan women are unbelievably effing gorgeous even I find myself staring.

Lol, I'm at a cyber cafe and listening to a Kenyan man singing Shania Twain "u'r still the one" karaoke style. The music is actually pretty good. The local stylings are actually worth listening to. Berty will love this: I just heard Usher's "Yeah" in Swahili! Lol, They take all these popular hits and re-record them in the langauage and it actually sounds really good.

The food....delicious. And there's something for everyone. Japanese (yes with fab sushi I've been told), Thai, Greek, Indian obviously, French and so much more. Oh and the drinks are to die for. Like Passion fruit, mango, papaya and it's all organic and fresh. There are tons of burger places around here styled after McDonalds. The largest chain I've seen is Steers, a south african brand. I actually (yuck) had a cheeseburger and fries yesterday. Fries rocked, I think the beef patty was corned beef. (double yuck). Keep in mind, nobody serves drinks with ice. You have to ask for it. Beers may come slightly chilled but it's really good beer. Bottled water is out, boiling your own water is in. Don't even think about tap water.

Ok, hungry now but I'll keep adding to this and fill free to make comments. What to have for lunch now....hmmmm.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

on Man Utd. & Arsenal

It's been incredibly interesting to watch how the rivalry of these two teams has managed to cross international borders and into Kenya. In one of the dailies there was a story about a couple of bar brawls in a super remote town, Eldoret, about 300 miles from here between fans of both the teams. One Arrrrsssseeeeenal fan was so incensed, he threw his beer at the telly in an effort to get at the referee. All the matatus (Public transport death trap minivans) proudly display their loyalties and the clear favorites are these two teams. It has been very entertaining nevertheless. Ok, gotta go now. A bientot beautiful people.

Urghhhh!!!!!!

The one thing I can say that is truly lacking aside from an honest system, complete independence as a female, no red tape, privacy, functioning bathrooms is deodorant. Other than that, kenya is just lovely. I've been here a little under a week and it feels like an eternity. There's no such animal as wireless and forget DSL. So I've been limited to finding internet cafes which thankfully are all over town but are just as slow as 1994 dial-up. I'm actually writing this on a notepad while my mail is loading so that I'll just post it when I'm done with my 3 shilling a minute access. ($1 = 78/)

My brother bless his heart has been an amazing guide and really sweet about showing me around everywhere but he's fallen prey to the mantra of any african, "what's the rush" when it comes to going anywhere. It is hot here but the nights are pretty cool. I haven't gone much anywhere as much as nightlife as it seems Kenyans don't rock during the week. Wonder how that reflects on our party status in Woo and T.H. I'm still phoneless, another thing that I need like an arm but has taken a backseat on an increasingly long list of things to do. On the job front, apparently I'm very much on my own. Long story, I'll explain later. V. hard not to get disheartened right now but I'm getting pretty close to a breakdown. Lol, thought I could post this on my blog as soon as the browser finished loading. i'm very mistaken. have to save this to an e-mail to post later. Urghhhh......I've been Americanized! and I miss it!

I'm actually in desperate need of a vacation and if I don't get one soon, I will implode. The country's hot and dirty but otherwise pleasant. I've actually become somewhat vegetarian as the thought of eating meat here kinda scares me. I know DT is proud of that but wait until I get to the farm and see that delicious lamb. he he he.

Politically, it's the usual crap. Stupid fat old men hemming and hawing and pocketing a few thousand shillings here and there. Actually in today's Standard www.eastandard.net , the British High Commisioner called out the president's office. Oh, and me dad told me to keep my passport with me incase there's ever a coup. I sincerely hope he's joking. Ok, have to sign out now. Have spent way too much money on super slow service. More later, I promise. Ciao beautiful people.