Kenyan Timing

11 a.m.

"Hi X, what are you doing today?"
"Oh, not much, was going to make some gazpacho, why?"
"My friend is having a big Easter lunch this afternoon. Can I pick you up at one?"
"Umm, yeah sure, that'd be nice. I'll see you in an hour then?"
"Yup, come hungry."

1.30 p.m.

"Hey, it's me X, I thought you said you'd be here half an hour ago."
"Yeah, sorry, we just got out of church. Let me drop the kids off and I'll be right over."
"Ok, see you in fifteen then?"
"Absolutely, hang tight, you hungry yet?"
"Umm, getting there."
"See you in a few then."

2.45 p.m.

"Dude, I've been trying to call you but you've been "mteja"*, where are you?
"Oh man, traffic is killer, sorry I'll be there soon."
"But you live 5 minutes away and it's Sunday."
"The kids, I tell you they're driving me nuts. I'll be there soon."
"I'm starving here, I'm chewing gum and toothpicks because I don't wanna ruin my appetite."
"Sorry, I'll be there in five minutes, I promise."

4.00 p.m.

"Hey X, I'm outside your apartment right now, you ready?"
"@!#$@&%$# up yours!"

Lol, this was slightly similar to my afternoon yesterday. Kenyan timing is notoriously awful. I went for an interview a few weeks back and I showed up ten minutes before my appointment. The secretary looked at me with astonishment and said, "You're extremely early."

I have an acquaintance who is particularly expert at Kenyan time. The conversation above is the usual par every time we make plans. If he says he'll be over at around 5 that evening, I won't even start getting ready until about 8. It's awful I know but that's how it is. If you're trying to conduct business while you're here, I seriously suggest you operate between the hours of 8 and 11 in the morning as come noon, it's every person for themselves. There is a tendency to take unofficial siestas in the form of long lunches and lazy walks back to the office. This ofcourse is not the case for every business but is fairly typical for some that still operate on a very casual front. And as is with friends, when you give a certain time for a pending visit, it's best to add at LEAST an hour to their ETA. Fun stuff, no? Until you're in a hurry, then you'll be hurting.

*Mteja - when you call someone, you don't get a busy signal, you'll get a message, "the person you're trying to reach is not available" "Samahani, mteja unayoita...." Mteja being the unavailable party. It's become more a slang reference, say "Hey, have you seen Dan lately? He's been Mteja." (Unavailable, get it? If not, seek help)