Shhhhooooorrry Occifer! (hic)

Alright, quite a number of my "acquaintances" i.e. demoted from "friends" are making their way rapidly up my shit list, I would name names but I'm too nice (stop laughing E.B) a person to do that.

Ok day, sunny yet again, I'm looking out on some crazy construction coming up. Nairobi is spreading out and at an incredible pace. Apartments coming up everywhere and more and more amenities previously found in upper class neighborhoods are making their way down the social ladder. My apartment is beginning to look like a hovel compared to some of the surrounding places. The one downside to all this is that at about 6.30 every morning, hundreds of workers come streaming through the main gate, passed my window (third floor), chattering away followed by trucks full of building materials. However tempted to scream a "shut the eff up!" I will assume it may have worse consequences here so I smile at the day, rise and fix myself a vodka tonic, light up a pack of camels....just kidding!

Speaking of which....there are a couple of fairly lethal home brewed cocktails that can render you blind or dead, depending on the formaldehyde levels. I'm not kidding on this one, very sad actually. I have a cousin who went to the coast on holiday with friends, partied like tourists. Problem is they ordered top-shelf liqors and the bartender was serving something bottom-shelf inorder to save stock and the poor kids woke up sometime the next afternoon (intact) but with the worst hangovers and severely cloudy/blurry vision which cleared up some days later.

Chang'aa is the local brew that is served in several illegalbars/ whorehouses/ slum areas. It's the poor man's drink because it is made with cheap every day ingredients and gives a quicker buzz hence the 70 shillings you might spend on one beer could you get you "how's your father" lit three times over. The key ingredient is formaldehyde. Every day the papers carry stories of people falling sick, going blind and even dropping dead within minutes of consuming this brew. Really is quite awful stuff. So back to Vodka. Me sister pointed out an article she found online that said "vodka is just chang'aa with a PhD." I couldn't agree more, especially down here. I'm so used to getting the stuff with a mountain of ice-cubes such that you get halfway, you're drinking water with a hint of potato. Well, since there's no ICE here (and even if there was, chances are the original liquid form is courtesy of the Nairobi City Council) I had to drink mine with a bottle of tonic that I insisted sit in the freezer for at least 15 minutes prior to serving. I was conned by the condensation because the tonic stayed cold until it left the bottle and met my vodka. I only had 3 of these little bombs and needless to say, the next day I thought I was surely going to die. My head, the heat, no ice, no Whopper Jrs' or McDonald's fries or a porcelain god that didn't make you cringe every time you approached it.

I survived obviously but wow, I miss snow, biting wind and orange popsicles. My spelling is atrocious by the way and chiefly because if I run spell check on this old biddy, everything freezes, shuts down and then it makes a sound like a camel farting (not pleasant I assure you.)